but you don't really care for music, do you

The last few weeks have been really stressful, with a number of life changing events occuring in a row, and more to come over the weekend. I don't deal with finality very well, even when it leads to changes in my life that should make me happier or leave me feeling fulfilled. I don't feel fulfilled. I feel sad and empty. It isn't as if I feel like a disaster is impending. There haven't been many major trainwrecks in my life, but the comfort and protection I once felt is gone and it makes me feel so alone. Leaving friends is always the worst--who knows when our paths will cross again? Who knows what life will be like without them?

Wallowing can be okay sometimes. It can slow everything down, make it blurry, and bring much needed emotional rest. I'm not a depressed person. In fact, I only wallow when I feel like the world's beauty is leaving me and I haven't had enough of it. I wallow when I feel the need to mourn loss, when loss becomes creative and I need to make art, listen to music, and deal with change. I think a lot of people turn to Leonard Cohen when they feel the way I do. If they don't, they should. No one mourns better than Leonard Cohen. No one transformes mourning into closure the way Leonard Cohen does. I know everyone really likes the Rufus Wainwright cover of "Hallelujah," but there are two others that have been ipod favorites while I've been trying to get through the last few weeks:

Brandi Carlisle: "Hallelujah"
Jeff Buckley: "Hallelujah

You're depressed now, you say? This youtube clip of Leonard himself performing the song with what appears to be an awkwardly swaying children's choir is quite hilarious (and not sad at all):